Cookout Season

Memorial Day is a few days away and with good weather hopefully this weekend will be more lit than PFK Boom leanin on Jamal Bryant. Memorial Day is the opening day for cookout season. Yea I know some of you grill all year long and we salute you but that was the preseason. In other words none of those meals don’t count as cookout season is amongst us and it’s time to eat good.

Let’s get some things straight. There are certain foods you shouldn’t bring such as any forms of salad that you can get in a bag at Giant, no selfish ass meats such as 4 turkey burgers even though you invited 15 people, if I see you bring cole slaw you will designated to Hold the Door duty for the whole season and for the love of yourself try not to bring the off brand drinks such as Dr. Pop, Mountain Buzz or anything from Save a Lot. If you’re known for desserts don’t do the mac and cheese and vice versa. Govern yourself accordingly. Please practice proper etiquette when you are invited to a cookout.

Here are some of the Sonny Rules to Cookout Season…shout out to Notorious BIG for the inspiration of this manual when he dropped this line…’ I been in this game for years, it made me an animal It’s rules to this shit, I wrote me a manual A step by step booklet for you to get your game on track”

  1. If you got a dirty house please clean that shit up before we come over. I don’t want to think that I drop a chocolate chip when it’s really a mouse dropping. (Look they were here before us but that doesn’t mean we have to see them)
  2. Make sure you have proper utensils for the grill because you don’t wanna be flippin burgers or turning over chicken with a spoon.
  3. 7 P’s: Piss Poor Performance Promotes Piss Poor Performance…for example if you’re cookout starts at 4 don’t wait until 3 to go to Costco, BJ’s, SAM’s Club or Walmart to get the meats, plates and everything else having us waiting until 7 to eat when start time for 4.
  4. If you can’t beat the computer in Spades what makes you think you gonna beat a real person. Playing Spades at a cookout can turn into a Las Vegas Casino or Las Vegas after an event (ask Pac and Biggie).
  5. Make sure your grill is operational before you start: Don’t go to Lowe’s and buy a grill at 1 then tell people come at 2.
  6. Have a diverse playlist. Everybody don’t wanna hear nigga, bitch, hoe, I sell all the dope and I get all the pussy 50 times before the hook nor do we only wanna Beethoven’s greatest hits
  7. Biggie said it first: this rule is so underrated/ Keep your family and business completely separated/Money and blood don’t mix like two dicks and no bitch/Find yourself in serious shit

Translation: Bringing your white or co-worker that isn’t the same race as you to all black cookout where topics such as police brutality, politics, the injustice of the black man or sports it may not be the best idea especially if he/she writes your check.

  1. Ladies, if you bringing ya man for the first time around your friends make sure you don’t ditch him and be with your girls the whole time as a matter of fact make him a plate give him a drink and an occasional ‘you alright baby’ would suffice.
  2. Fellas, Read rule number 8
  3. To the Grill Master: please know the ratio when making hamburgers. Imma grown ass man dog, I am too big to be eating hockey pucks for hamburgers
  4. If you are a rookie in the kitchen the cookout will not serve as your All-Star game because we don’t have time for the fuck shit
  5. If you are only here through a friend of a friend of a friend who is just a friend of the family keep your mouth shut and enjoy the free meal
  6. If the cookout has crabs and you didn’t put in on those crabs keep your crabby patty hands away from the crabs unless you received an evite that you can eat the crabs
  7. If you too bougie to do a line dance, electric slide or a 2 step stay the fuck from round me.
  8. If it’s hot as hell outside you might want to make sure your AC is working in your house because you don’t want people to be uncomfortable.
  9. Always prepare more than expected because if you invite people they will not eat just 1 hamburger and 1 hot dog and be stuffed.
  10. Last but not least if you invite me to a cookout and a hour later you ask me to pass you the laptop not for music purposes but for a presentation I will feed my kids sugar and allow to go tazmanian devil on your shit. Respect my free will to eat a meal without hearing the intricacies of a scheme to where you are the only one making real money. I respect your hustle but not while I’m eating grilled food.



Shotgun Formation

shotgun formation

As you may know I am a father of 3 (2 daughters and 1 son). They are still young in age as my oldest just turned 7, my middle child is 3 and my baby girl will turn 2 in July. So I have a little more time to nurture them and mold them before they want to go out on dates with the opposite sex and don’t even get me started with the word prom. I got a little more time to groom and teach them the fundamentals on what should and what shouldn’t be tolerated with respect to the opposite sex. As I’m getting older I am realizing that black men and women are subjected to so many atrocities that we must protect them a lot better than what we are doing now. I can’t lie I always wanted to live out the Bad Boys 2 scene when Martin Lawrence daughter goes on her first date and I got my man Cook pointing the 9mm talking about ‘you 15 nigga you look 30…ay yo Sonny let me get it poppin like Orville Redenbacher fa real’. Now that I’m close to 33 that might be the dumbest shit I could do at that very moment. See if my oldest daughter is allowed to go on a date at 15 I will be just turning 40 and at the rate I’m going to the gym I will be a force to be reckoned with and I won’t need a gun. My 6 foot frame at 300 pounds with facial hair and my break a nigga hand with a firm handshake should be enough. On the other hand, if I ever need a gun trust and believe I’m not going to just show you I’m going to use it because ‘if Young Sonny don’t trust ya Imma shoot ya’ (future voice).

It’s like the Dave Chappelle episode when he got 24 year old self talking to his 30 year old self when it comes to my thought about the shotgun pose. 24 year old Sonny probably would quote a Beanie Sigel line or stare you down like Beans did when he saw Dame in the club on State Property; but 30 year old Sonny maybe not. 30 something year old Sonny probably would throw a cookout with all his friends and then have a You Should Be Here presentation where they are only selling caskets as a mind trick to that young man letting him know that as a black man you must protect the black woman but if you refuse you can be eliminated. Look I am all here for mental hazing someone. I’m here for the fear factor but honestly I rather be respected than feared. What are your thoughts? If I really wanna fuck with ya put every channel on the ID channel or whistle the Kill Bill theme song whenever I see you. Like I said I’m all for the intimidation factor, I’m here for the respect factor just don’t use a gun to prove your point and especially don’t put that shit on social media. I don’t know what Imma do because I still got about 10 years before I execute this plan of mine.

The year is 2026 and my oldest is going to prom and her date shows up to the door in a tux and who knows maybe a flying car and here I come dressed in all black with the pit bull like Nino Brown with the shotty. That shit don’t even sound right in a movie let alone real life. Let’s dissect this for a second. I understand having a gun to protect yourself and your family in the midst of an attack from someone or as a means of survival but pointing it at someone that doesn’t pose a threat is a coward move. Like I mentioned earlier we are subjected to cruel treatment by policeman, society, shit ourselves now my son can’t take your daughter to prom without a double barrel threat to the chest. For the record just because you got a gun don’t mean you thorough-pussy (meek mill voice). If anything it’s just shows me that your daughter is just a piece of property and not the prized possession that you thought she was because if you got to brandish a gun as a fear tactic maybe you the one that’s really scared. I can only imagine slave masters back in the day did the same dumb shit to intimidate somebody now here we go in 2016 doing the same stupid shit. Oh and another thing if you do that do to my son and post it on social media my goal will be to kill you.  My mentality should not reach that point but pointing a gun or attempting to take my children’s life changes things.

I got a question for you: If you really feel that my son or any man for that matter is so much of a threat to your daughter why the fuck are you letting her go with him anyway? Why are you not protecting her or shielding her instead you want to throw her to the wolves and take pictures to get a few comments from people that don’t even give a fuck about you fa real. Don’t throw her to the wolves and then get mad afterwards when she is dead or coming back home looking like Martin when he fought Tommy the Hitman Hearns; intervene from the jump and nip that shit in the bud. If I ever feel that my daughter is in danger by a man the last thing Imma do is allow them to see each other.

I got another question for you: Does this apply only to the opposite sex? This is 2016 and the LGBT community is getting larger and stronger by the day if a manly girl with the jeans sagging wearing men’s underwear comes to the door to take your daughter out as a father are you pointing the gun at them as well or is this pose strictly for the opposite sex.

I want that relationship with my daughters that they can tell me anything good or bad and then I can use it as a teaching tool. On some real shit if they don’t pose no threat let you still feel the need to show off the gun collection then my friend you a George Zimmerman type of nigga and quite frankly I don’t want my son fuckin with your daughter no way because you are the bigger threat in this situation. On the flip side if a girl comes over my house should my wife and her goons take a picture pointing a gun at your daughters chest because moms be protecting their sons the same way if not worst. I’ve been in plenty arguments about disciplining my own son so I can only imagine what mom dukes would do if a lady did her son wrong.

I understand with the Rekisha Boyd and Sandra Bland and numerous incidents involving black women and their untimely death, black women are becoming an endangered species. So when something is becoming endangered what should you do: protect it with your life. So if you got these guns fuck it show your daughter how to shoot or teach others how to shoot instead of using the gun like a toy because like I said earlier if you point a gun at my son I have no choice but to protect him even if that means ending your life. I know we as black men are supposed to protect our black women but posing in pictures with a gun to a young man ain’t the way to do it. Instead equip these young women on how to protect themselves, how to respect themselves and how to spot an iffy situation and remove themselves from it.

Look man put the guns down because you ain’t using them when you suppose to so stop fronting ol’ light skin Dangerous from the Get Rich or Die Tryin’ movie. We as a black race are in trouble as it is please don’t give any additional ammo to the people who are trying to get rid of us. If you don’t want your daughter to date that’s cool I can respect that but pointing a gun at my son as a scare tactic isn’t the way to go. Shit the way my son is now he’ll probably get mad and go try to take the gun out your hand and use it on you. It’s not funny it’s not cool you shouldn’t get no likes on Facebook because that’s why you really did you ol’ thirst bucket for attention ass motherfuckers. I don’t care how many views you get on Snap Chat don’t ever try to use my son or any man’s son as a prop for your staged play but deep down you wouldn’t bust a grape in a food fight. Stop dickeating the white man’s attempt to intimidate your own kind and let’s work together for once. Let’s come up with solutions on how we stop this before somebody really gets hurt and then its mad screen print shop businesses booming because the RIP shirts are back in full effect. Let’s raise our kids to be better and let the generations after us with a wealth of knowledge and self-worth.


How the West will be won

how the west will be won

With Game 2 between Oklahoma City and Golden State Warriors coming on TNT in a few hours I couldn’t help but realize that this will be one of those high scoring, ankle breaking, dunk a thon type of series. Those days of an 85-82 games in the playoffs are over with respect to this Golden State and Oklahoma City series. Besides having 3 of the top 5 in the NBA if you want to reach 5 out of the top 20 players in the NBA on one floor shooting one ball vying for a chance to represent the Western Conference for the almighty Chip there are other storylines that will propel this series to all-time great level.

The battle of the point guards will be a constant reminder throughout the series as you have 1A and 1B with Steph Curry and Russell Westbrook battling for point guard supremacy. If this was a Game of Thrones parody would Curry be Khalessi because when he gets on fire watch out and would Russell be Ramsey Bolton because when he wants to ball out and do something crazy that makes you say wow look no further. Is there a boat battling the Midwestern winds of Cleveland saying what about me, it’s me Kyrie. I wish Steph and Russell would defend each other but I already know Klay Thompson would be defending Russell more than Steph but expect ridiculous numbers for both Steph and Russell. During their regular season matchup, Curry average 35 points a game while shooting 45 percent from three whereas Russell averaged 26 and 11. Needless to say they are about to get busy. I predict Curry will average close to 40 and shoot about 42 percent from three while Russell will have 4 triple doubles because in my heart of hearts I have this series going 7.

We watch a NBA that features many the players playing the 1 2 and 3 with some sprinkles of the big men especially when you talk about DeAndre Jordan, DeMarcus Cousins or Andre Drummond. Despite the firepower that both teams present in the backcourt it will be rebounding that will prove to be pivotal in the success of the winning team. For example, if OKC get 5 more offensive rebounds than Golden State that could easily generate 15 extra points and vice versa. I see OKC with the rebounding advantage because they can rotate three big men in Adams, Ibaka and Kanter. Kanter may win you mustache of the year as well as get you some offensive rebounds. He’s averaging about 4 to 5 offensive rebounds a game and that can bring in huge dividends as this series goes on.

The X-factors in my opinion for both teams are Draymond Green and Serge Ibaka. They are both big men who can score whether it’s inside or outside. They can get rebounds and create a defensive impact which could swing momentum in either team’s direction. Draymond is teetering on superstar status and a good series can only cement his legacy. A bad series from Ibaka will have the OKC brass second guessing their decision to get rid of James Harden in order to keep him. I just hope if Ibaka misses his three point attempts that he goes back to the basics and go inside and generate points that way because if he can create foul trouble on Green then that could change the complexity of this series.

Let’s face it Golden State will go down in the record books as one of the greatest regular season teams in history. I mean you broke the wins record, three point record and you have the MVP 2 years in a row. With your backup coach you started 24-0. You hit me more threes than the average coworker would hit using paper trash and the only thing that would make this complete would be a championship. If they don’t win the championship is this an epic failure. As the Old Spice commercial goes, “anything less would be uncivilized”. I recommend they do an ESPN 30 for 30 and have Mark Jackson and Jeff Van Gundy narrate it.

Hov said it best: “Nobody built like you…you design yourself” and if that doesn’t refer to Russell Westbrook then I don’t know what does. Russell Westbrook only competition is himself. Some games he’ll shoot 40% for the field and other games it’s in the 20% range. It’s like he started off on the rookie level in 2K and by the 4th quarter it went to Hall of Fame and then it was like “oh shit this is harder than I thought”. When his jump shot is flowing he is unfuckwitable; however when it’s off and he’s trying to get it back on track it begins to stagnant the OKC offense and make Durant do more work to keep them in the game. This has to be proven over the course of his career but dammit if I had to start a team and I had the 2nd pick in the fantasy draft I’m taking Russell. The better Westbrook utilizes his driving ability the better OKC runs and that’s a scary thought because I haven’t even talked about Durant yet.

Steph Curry has garnered a lot of criticism as of late because quite frankly he’s better than what 2K can make him and he might be the next guy to be inducted into the illuminati. I know Steph put in the work in and has earned all of his accomplishments but his latest accomplishment of MVP with a unanimous vote has had all the sports radio, barber shops and GroupMe groups discussing what is valuable. Why him as unanimous and not MJ or Kobe or Shaq or anyone else that has dominated the league. So every game Steph Curry has a target on his back and part of me wants him to battle the Cavs again just because LeBron has thrown some shade toward the young man and that battle would be epic. It would be the NBA equivalent of the new Captain America movie so pick a side. Even with 2 MVP’s Steph will have to prove to any doubters why he was the MVP again.

I want this series to go 7 games and I pray that it does and to be honest I want to see the upset where OKC wins this series. Would it really be an upset though…? I guess if you ask someone in Vegas? But this will be an entertaining barring any silly shit and I’m just glad I paid the cable bill this month.


5 Minutes of Hell

chef curry

“Fuck nigga way off/My young shooters, Steph Curry in the playoffs”- French Montana ft. Lil Durk

“Sloppy with the rock? (Nope)/Steph Curry with the shot? (Yup)” – E-40

“I been Steph Curry with the shot/Been cooking’ with the sauce, chef, curry with the pot, boy”- Drake

I’ve been a sports fan since the days of learning how to read the sports section of the paper with my grandfather the late Leonard Thompson. As I am getting older I’m gaining more and more respect as well as understanding the nuances that make the game so special. In my opinion this is arguably the greatest round of NBA playoff basketball in recent memory. Whether it’s the Raptors/Heat series going into overtime 3 out of the first 4 games or the San Antonio/OKC series destined for a game 7 series to the record breaking 3 point shooting of the Cleveland Cavaliers against the Hawks but you know why I am here-Marshawn Lynch voice. I am here to talk about Steph kwon the chef and the overtime performance that can’t be duplicated even on rookie level in 2K. Steph Curry came from blood like he entered the Mortal Kombat cheat code.

Make no mistake the Portland Trailblazers are a worthy opponent especially under the leadership of Damian Lilliard. The chip on his shoulder is now a boulder and he plans to make sure y’all put some respeck with a capital K on his name. However, there’s the reigning MVP by the name of Stephen Curry who must be listening to Fat Joe on his Beats by Dre because he is going all the way up right now. Last night he provided 5 minutes of pure hell. His 5 minutes of basketball excellence if compared to anything would be the classic John Blaze song featuring Fat Joe, Nas, Big Pun, Jadakiss and Raekwon. To this day you can argue who had the better verse but the collection of emcees on one track will go down in the history books. In comparison the collection of basketball players on one team will go down in the history books.

This Golden State/Portland series has been entertaining to say the least. Portland has led throughout every game of the series. They are the only team to beat Golden State twice this season. You can see the adjustments made by both coaches whether it’s Klay Thompson defending Lilliard to the substitution strategy of Terry Stotts. It all could have gone downhill for the Warriors with the ejection of Shaun Livingston in the 2nd quarter but it may have been what the doctor ordered. Stephen Curry hasn’t played in over 2 weeks as he rehabbed his knee and his performance in the beginning echoed those sentiments. A few of his shots were way off and he played hesitant. It was like he was shaking the cobwebs out of his game. Sure he had 23 points going into overtime but he only shot 2-for-13 from 3 point line.

I don’t know what was said before overtime started but once the whistle blew and the jump ball began, Steph Curry rose from the ashes like a phoenix and went full on NBA Jam mode where he couldn’t miss anything. Steph went into Super Saiyan mode and carried the Warriors on his back throughout overtime. He couldn’t miss. He was like the Prince episode from the Dave Chappelle show. Good… a three pointer good…. another three pointer…good until the final whistle where he says…Game…Warriors. Whatever uncertainly Stephen Curry had in the first 4 quarters of the game was thrown out like yesterday’s trash as he put the sports world on notice that the MVP for the second time in 2 years is back and in full effect. His performance gave Golden State that confidence that were missing for the past few weeks. The Warriors are still a cut above the rest of the league but without Steph and a perfect game from the other team the Warriors could be beat. However, Steph turned into the dire wolf from Game of Thrones as he protected a once wounded and vulnerable team and nursed it back to health while striking fear into its opponent. Has the mental state of the Trailblazers been destroyed? How will Lilliard response in Game 5? How will the Trailblazers compete in Game 5? Only time will tell but what I do know is time waits for no one and Steph Curry is letting y’all know that his time is now. You better get down or lay down and if you lay down you stay down cause we don’t play round.


Grayson Family Vacation Part 1

family trip

When I was growing up I would go a vacation once every 2 years because moms had to budget the money and back then those trips were expensive. There was no Priceline or Express Deals for hotels and you had to order take out 3 times a day because the hotel didn’t have refrigerator but if it did I know my mother would have made 20 sandwiches and buy Tahiti Treat for our drink. I appreciate those trips because it got me out of Baltimore for a few days and see other parts of the United States (I’m going to make it out the country one day sooner than I think because my wife keep saying Sonny you better take my ass out the country). Now that I have my own family I want to create those memories for my kids as well but it wouldn’t be a vacation without some fuck ups from your boy Sonny Brasco.

I must admit sometime I act like Clark Griswold with these family vacations. My intentions are as pure as Mother Mary but my execution be stinkin for real. It’s like with every decision I’m yelling ‘Omaha’ to myself and then I switch shit up without telling nobody then everybody looking at me like what the hell is that boy Sonny doing now. With me marrying my wife I acquired a new family from Buffalo, New York and they got a big family. All of them around the same age all had kids around the same time so it’s only right that we vacation with them. It’s always laughs mixed with this that bullshit dammit man but it’s all worth it at the end.

Shout out to my cousin Krissy for coming up with this vacation idea to Splash Lagoon an indoor water park in Erie, PA. See we got a lot of birthdays in May so why not get all of them together and have a good time. She found a great deal and knowing me I was in Julius from Everybody Hates Chris mode and when I saw the deal she got for us I was ‘my man’-Denzel Washington from American Gangster voice. As soon as my wife booked the room she said ‘Sonny you better not pull no nigga shit and wear hooping shorts in the water get you some swim trunks but I’m squeezing my ass in a bathing suit’. See I never felt comfortable in swim trunks I don’t like that mesh feeling and when I get out the water they aren’t bunched up all over the place. When I was younger I wore a pair of green swim trunks and I got out of the water and they said ‘look at that fat kid looking like a bunch of grapes’ It crushed my ego and I remember telling myself I would never go swimming again. Glad I broke that dumb ass habit. Fast forward to 2016 and I buy some swim trunks and Quianna buys a swimsuit with a cover up and she kept saying ‘Yaaasss Hunty I’m serving for the Gods because I’m taking over for the 99-2000 in this bitch’ It’s always good to see your wife feeling at her best especially when society views big women in such a negative light with respect to looks and don’t even mention that Lane Bryant model because she aint even big for real at least not in my mind she not. She’s excited my kids are excited everybody excited so let’s get some sleep and get ready to go.

Friday night I pack the car up with all the bags and in the morning we out here. Grayson family and my mother in law about to tackle Erie, PA but I had an eerie feeling about this trip (see what I did there). First things first we all overslept. Quianna modeling her swimsuit and cover up all over the house looking at every full length mirror like it’s the prom and I’m like man if you don’t go to bed and give me that swimsuit. We driving through the mountains of PA and the police are everywhere but we cruising then the kids get hungry. Reid in the back yelling ‘daddy nuggets and fries please’. Morgan says ‘yea daddy and some juice’ and Hannah like ‘row row your boat B I N GO twinkle twinkle little star shoo fly dont bother me’. It’s a mad house and then the directions takes us everywhere but the Burger King and then we get to Burger King, I see an Amish Family driving a Suburban and a white kid yells mommy look and he pointed at me like he never saw a black person before. After looking around I think that kid might have seen a black person for the first time that day and seeing a 6 foot 300 pound man was probably not the first image he wanted to see. He probably thought I was the mountain from Game of Thrones. So despite all the direction mishaps and the kids always wanting something we finally made it to Erie, PA.

So I’m unloading the car I see all the bags but the bag that had me and Quianna’s swimsuit. In my mind all I can think of was that Drake and Lil Wayne song when Wayne opens his verse up with “ooh shit motherfuck God damn Quianna gonna kick me out the hotel like Pam” Dammit yo, I left the bag at home. We drove almost 6 hours and I left the bathing suit home SMH. Now I’m in a daze like Amir Khan after that Canelo punch. I’m forced to do the nigga shit and wear hooping shorts but now Quianna is stuck with nothing. Oh the agony. Can’t front I was shook because when my wife get mad good grief. She transforms into a monster that only the Power Rangers can defeat. She is leaning on me and I got to take it on the chin like a Mike Tyson punch in the 80’s. I had to eat this like Lucious and all that cake his mother fixed him last week. (Sidebar: Is it me or did they pull an Aunt Viv on Lucious mother). I’m mad at myself for forgetting not only my stuff but hers as well. See we were about to conquer our fears for the sake of our children and now we are back to square one. So I’m like let me think quickly on my feet and come up with something. Boom, I got it tell her go to Wal-Mart. When I mentioned that she said, “I aint going nowhere. I can’t believe you left my stuff dammit Sonny’. About 15 minutes later she was like Sonny I know you’re upset and I forgive you but I got an idea…I’mma go to Wal-Mart. In my mind I was like didn’t I just say that same shit 15 minutes ago ol’ Pootie Tang repeating ass but it was just the devil trying to bait me into another argument but guess what…not today homie. She goes to Wal-Mart and finds a bathing suit and then it was like a celebrity walked in the room and then the beat drops and the hook was “quianna grayson taking over for the 99-2000”

I must admit the year 2016 is the year of the belly because everybody I saw had a gut and they aint gives no fucks. White dudes had their chest hair all out looking like a Donald Trump toupee’. It was like it was a sumo wrestlers convention so I’m like fuck it when it Rome. Kids are worn out mad pictures were taken and we as parents just sat back and was ‘Job well done’ but when I said that Quianna was like ‘not yet Sonny too soon my man too soon’. This brief vacation was just what the doctor ordered and now back to the real world so I can plan another one.