First things First


“First things first I poppa….”-Biggie Smalls

In life there will be always be a first at something whether it’s the first kiss, first child, first job, first car and the list goes on and on. With me having 3 children I have to deal with a lot of first and lo and behold we got a first day of school. Well Hannah has a few years to go before school but Reid and Morgan can’t say the same. First things first let’s get to the heir apparent, Young Reid. Reid is currently in a 2-4 year old day care center but on Monday we went to the upstairs classroom, which is one step closer to going to school. It might be a small step but I have to celebrate every accomplishment with my children especially my son because he is the last Grayson unless God decides to bless up with another boy but only time will tell.

Every morning before I get Reid out of the car I have a routine to get him excited for school.

Me: Are yooooooouuuuuu ready?

Reid: laughs yea daddy

Me: Are yooooouuuuu ready?

Reid and Hannah: laughs

Then we go into the school and he speaks to the fish, the owner then the other kids in the daycare. That’s the normal routine but yesterday was different. Yesterday was the first day with his new classroom and new teacher.

Here’s my interaction with his new teacher:

Me: Good morning

Teacher: good morning dad. Does Reid have on a pull up?

Me: Yea why what’s up?

Teacher: well big homie he in the big boy class now we don’t do pullups ova here yo. Make sure he got underwear from now on big homie.

Me: aight you got it yo. Ok Reid have a good day. Give me a high five

So I pick up Reid from school that day and not only did he have his same shorts but same underwear which means he didn’t pee on himself the whole day. This is a great moment in parenting history.

Now on to my oldest kid Morgan who will start second grade this year. She continues to amaze me everyday. She goes to one of those non air-conditioned school and it’s going to be 95 degrees and up so school should be closed but it’s not. I was having a conversation with her the day before and I asked her how she’s feeling about going to school.

Me: ay Morgan you ready for school tomorrow?

Morgan: No

Me: Why not?

Morgan: I’m nervous….

Me: Why are you nervous?

Morgan: Because what if people don’t think I’m smart. I don’t want people to think I’m not smart

Me: First of all you’re very smart. You are powerful because you believe in God and he will help you through this. For the record your melanin is on 1000, black girls are killing the game right now just look at the Olympics and you will flourish in out here. If anyone tells you otherwise just say ‘Fuck them”

Now I know I just negated my whole speech by ending it with fuck them and in that moment Morgan taught me something. See despite all the good things I said and re assured that she is powerful the only thing she took from that is that I said ‘fuck them’. This is a microcosm of how America operates. I just want to empower her and sometimes I channel the fathers of my past whether real or on TV and I have to be careful but I stand by what I said. It’s like that skit when Kevin Hart said his mother would allow him to cuss his teacher out instead but since I’m not as funny as him it didn’t have the same impact but I think it did and I can only imagine what I’m going to say to Hannah.

Like I said earlier there is always a first for everything and this was just another one of those firsts.


Being an Adult


When I was younger I asked my mom to buy me some black jeans but she took it upon herself and bought me some hunter green husky jeans with a matching plaid shirt. Bad enough they were hunter green but for the big husky sign on the back as well dammit man-DJ Envy voice. All day in school kids were yelling ‘ho ho ho green giant” I remember getting in trouble because I threw a haymaker at some kid for teasing me.

Mom: why you throw a punch at somebody

Me: you bought me green husky jeans and they made fun of me

Mom: what you don’t like them

Me: not really I don’t know if it’s because it’s green or husky or both

Mom: when you get old enough you buy your own clothes but until then go in your room before I whip ya ass.

Sitting at my desk there was a 13 year old Sonny writing in his journal, “I can’t wait to be an adult. Man I can buy my own clothes. I can do whatever I want. Aint no bedtime for the big fella” Almost 20 years later I must admit that was the dumbest shit I ever wrote. As I get older I have to face the reality that I am an adult and if you don’t believe me here are some truth moments to let you know that you are an adult:

  1. There is only 1 life…you will face trials and tribulations but there are also triumphs and victories.

Life is what you make it. Sometimes it’s easy as playing a game on the rookie level and sometimes it’s as hard as defending cops who kill innocent people but nevertheless you deal with what comes and trust that help is on the way.

  1. Work hard, play hard

We go to work. We work 40-60 hours a week, every week for about 50 weeks a year so yeah take a break and relax. Can’t lie this is hard for me because I measure my adult skills by providing for my wife and kids and if I don’t feel like I’m working hard enough I turn into Julius from Everybody Hates Chris. It wasn’t until my recent vacation with my wife that I realized doing nothing for a few days is essential. But back to work so I can have more fun.

  1. When you make a mistake, own that shit, accept that shit, learn from that shit and don’t do that shit again

Look we are all humans and we are going to make mistakes. Sometimes we don’t realize it’s a mistake until someone confronts you. For example my wife and I were cracking jokes on each other when I said your fingers look like mozzarella sticks and then she responds with ‘Fuck you yo’. I thought we were joking but apparently that was offensive. Of course I’m apologetic because I didn’t mean to hurt her feelings. I didn’t say ‘well you said I look like Freddie Jackson so I went for the jugular’. I don’t make excuses just admit I was wrong and move on.

  1. Taking photos become hard as shit

Have you ever been asked to take a photo and the person say only take a pic of face only nothing else? I’m not JcPenney or Segall Majestic or Olan Mills or that creep that’s trying to build a fake portfolio but really he’s taking pictures of women for whatever reason. I’m doing you a favor just let me take the picture. On the other hand I understand because I don’t like taking side profiles because I look like Kung Fu Panda with a beard from the side.

  1. Pay your fare

“If you pay like you weigh then you can stay baby”- Jadakiss. Man listen it doesn’t matter how much money you make you gonna pay your fare. You gotta pay for health insurance, social security and of course Uncle Sam. Like my aunt from Buffalo would say, “I’m the biggest boss that you seen thus far, don’t pay me you sleep in the car, that’s why I want another drink at the bar”. Looking at your pay stub and you go through different emotions. One emotion is filled with hell yeah I got some money then I look my bill spreadsheet and I’m like shit I’m broke as fuck.

  1. Social media aint reality

We are grown-ups. Nothing wrong with utilizing social media but you must know your limitations. Don’t fuck up a paycheck because you talking shit about your job on Facebook. Social media isn’t real life. Have you seen a broke person? Hell no. Everybody got money until you go to a restaurant then they pull out a calculator for the tip. It’s a falsehood and govern yourself accordingly.

  1. Stop trying to live your second childhood

You got responsibilities now homie. Now is not the time to try to be somebody that you’re not. For example if you 30 and up with a decent job now is not the time to want to be a drug dealer. Leave that ounce a weed alone and stack checks. Now is not the time to become Griselda Blanco or Pablo Escobar. Hit the snooze button on your alarm clock and then rush ya ass to work. If you aint about that life don’t wait until you have mouths to feed to start.

  1. Success is all about perception

Everybody views success differently. For some success is paying all your bills on time even if that means you’re dead broke for a week while others views success by how many places they can travel too. Look you determined your own success don’t let anyone else determine that for you. *cues key alert from DJ Khaled*

  1. Some people will always be assholes

It doesn’t matter how much good is happening in their lives they only focus on the bad. These people get on my last damn nerve. Maybe because I’ve been through some shit the past few years I look at things differently but some people will always be an asshole and if that’s you stay away from me because I aint got time for the fuck shit.

  1. Money will not solve your problems

This one is a tough one for me because when the money isn’t right by my standards my attitude changes. See I was taught by my dad that a man must provide for his family even if that means doing something illegal. Working multiple jobs isn’t a problem for me but with the extra money I would be sacrificing time with my kids. The hardest part about this topic is the fine line you have to draw between making money vs. spending time with family. Money can solve an immediate issue but there are some things money can’t buy.