My name is Sonny. I’m 33 years old and I’m overweight
Rest of class: Hi Sonny.
I’ve been a big nigga my whole life. I came out the womb wearing husky diapers. My dad is a big guy and so are some of my cousins so it wasn’t a big deal. As long as I played sports particularly football then my existence as a big dude was validated. Man oh man there have been some moments when all I could do is shake my head and be like what the fuck man. But for this very reason I’ve always been humble. I’ve always been the quiet, observant kid because I knew that since I’m the big dude you was gonna to see me anyway so let me at least make it a memorable experience. I could remember shopping with my mom when I was a kid and she would ask the sales clerk where the husky department was and that’s when I knew I was a big dude. Of course I got teased as a kid but I had hands though so after I popped a couple kids it was like I was the kid that played Biggie in the Sky’s the Limit video and all they could say was, ‘Look at they man eye, BIG man they never try/ So we roll wid em, stole wid em/ I mean loyalty, niggaz bought me milks at lunch/The milks was chocolate, the cookies, buttercrunch’. Growing up I idolized people like Biggie Smalls, Barry White, fat Luther because at some point in my life I was told I looked like them but since they were the shit in their profession I didn’t mind it. But it was once I was compared to Doug Heffernan from the show King of Queens then I knew it was a problem. To the day, Biggie is still a major influence because of his storytelling and overall lyrical ability. But I learned quick that big and black is cool but having a stack as well makes it a whole lot better.
Like high school was a gift and a curse because I played football and all that but once football was over and I was back on my nerdy shit it was a bit challenging. Luckily, I have a good personality so I was still an overall cool guy but it definitely was some niggas cooler than me and it was definitely was some rejection from jawns because I was the big dude. It was like I was the bigger version of Stephon Urkel’. Another disadvantage at the time was that they thought I could make a whole couch by myself. Why the hell would you think of some shit like that? But when times were low, I would listen to some Biggie and I would snap out of it. I will never forget when Biggie said, “I’m big, black and ugly as ever…however”. Stop the record. This is when I learned what confidence is because you can’t say no shit and still expect to flourish. Once you say that you can’t say however. That’s normally the death blow but he continued to get women so it was hell yeah represent for the big fellas babee bay bay uh. I knew I had to improve myself overall and not just my weight because weight comes and goes but there are intangibles that you can’t teach so I also had to focus on those attributes.
I can honestly say I’m proud to be the big boy in the crew. Every crew has to have one. But it’s rules to this shit. First and foremost you have to be as fly as your crew members but you just have to know your limitations. If the shirt needs to be 3x then embrace that because it’s nothing worse than seeing someone tugging at the sides of their shirt all day because they think the shirt is too small. Be comfortable and fly at the same time. When I went to college, I was shocked because I wasn’t the biggest kid on the block and it was refreshing. Don’t get me wrong I was still in a 3x and I was still waiting on the 2 for 150 suit sale at K & G, but to not be the biggest dude was awesome. It gave me a new sense of confidence and all the walls that I built during my high school years were beginning to break down. I still had to be fly at all times because you can’t be the big dude and the bummy dude at the same time. You have to take some risks but you have to know your sweat tolerance. You’re asking what is sweat tolerance. If you sweat a lot no matter the weather you have to take extra precaution when wearing certain things. If you take a shower and you sweat in the shower then your sweat tolerance is low as shit. You have to take extra measures to safe out here. Those sweat rags become essential because the worst thing that you want to happen is wearing a fresh Polo of an exotic color and then the collar is filled with brown sweat marks like you were literally melting as you walk. Then you get the feedback from women was like a breath of fresh air but I had to stay humble because I remember a girl telling me that I got bigger over the semester and it fucked me up because the attraction that was once there is now gone. I know that be shallow but at 20 years old what could you expect. In all honesty I want to feel comfortable in my skin and in the clothes that I wear. I don’t want to squeeze into any pair of jeans or pray that my shirt goes over the belt buckle and I definitely don’t want to run out of stores to go to for clothes. Another thing that bother me from time to time is when all my friends be making clothes and they say I got you big fella but their largest shirt is a XL. Like that doesn’t even fit over my head and you think this is going to fit over my body. That’s wzup.
It was at this time in college when I began to lift weights heavy. Since I never had any guidance I have yet to hit my zenith. Even to this day, I know there are some heights that I’ve yet to reach but it’s not physical anymore it’s more mental because my mom would say you fine to me so I felt I could skip a day or two. Now that I’m married, my wife will say the same thing and the same shit has happened. But then I go to the gym and my daughter says that I’m Mr. Incredible so I’m like yeah but when I want to get a tuxedo jacket for a wedding the tailor is like No. It’s crazy now because there’s a few dudes I went to high school with who were skinny as shit now they are body builders but I will tip my hat off to them because they help others to achieve their goals as well. Nothing worse than a selfish bastard. I mean they are going to push you beyond your breaking point but once you achieve your goal then it was well worth it.
I’ve struggled my whole life on this subject but since I embrace being big it doesn’t bother me as much as it did in the past. I really just wanna feel comfortable in my clothes. I want to wear a tank top and not look like I got titties on the side. I know the New Year is coming up and the gym is about to be flooded with people like me or some worse than me trying to get right. It’s ok because you are going to have a bad day maybe even a week or a month but keep going. Summer is coming but it’s the winter months when the experiment really happens. I remember watching Celebrity Fit Club and every week Harvey would say, “Your target weight loss is….” I have come to the conclusion that I will never be the skinny guy but I really just want to be healthier and live longer for my wife, kids and family. Now that my wife wants to begin this journey as well its extra pressure because we got to hold each other accountable and sometimes the way we express ourselves can get a bit harsh but as long as the objective is still the same then I can get with it. We are literally going from thick to thin. I know this isn’t going to be easy because it’s all in the experience that makes it worth memorable. I have to push myself beyond my breaking point in order for this to work. The first step is what is my breaking point. The only way to find out is to load the weights up. Let’s see who this story will end?
Have you struggled with losing weight? Are you still struggling? Did you give up? If you didn’t what clicked in your mind for you to keep going? What was/is your target weight loss?