Families across the globe are prepping for all the Christmas festivities tomorrow morning. We are listening to music ranging from East Atlanta Santa, Temptations to Kenny G. Tomorrow will start as early as possible because kids will be running down the steps hoping Santa came by the house while the parents are just getting to sleep so they are about to turn into the Grinch. But once we see the kids faces we realize it was all worth it as for me this is when I start my Christmas Budget for 2019 because when my wife see the account on Wednesday she gonna fall out like Wendy Williams. As always there are some things that will make this Christmas better than before. Check out some of the topics from the Sonny System.
1. Dress accordingly
I know it’s Christmas time and you will be amongst family and friends but 10 times out of 9’you gonna be in someone’s living room so dress accordingly. I’m all for the winter wonderland vibe but if you put on white and you look like any of these things:
- A dollop of sour cream
- A block of blue cheese
- Dirty snow
Then you might want to revisit that option.
Ladies if you want to be all festive and wear green but if you look like any of these things:
- Slimer from ghostbusters
- A ghost from Pac-Man
- A germ from a mucinex commercial
Then you might want to go back to the drawing board.
2. Know the cook
We come together to enjoy a meal filled with all the favorites you can imagine. Most of us starve ourselves just for this occasion so this is literally life or death; therefore the food has to be on point. Tomorrow is not the time to freestyle like these cooking shows because it will meet a disastrous fate. If you see someone throw the plate in the trash but the plate is upside down then it’s a foregone conclusion that your food was as terrible as jacquees covering candy rain. Fellas, if you are still skeptical of the cook you have to do the Ray Charles test. You must blindfold yourself and start at her wrist. If you can wrap your hand around her wrist then it will be a tossup. The real test is the arm. You have to feel her arm and if it isn’t as big as the rib that flips over the flintstones car then you may have a problem on your hands. If from the shoulder to the elbow her arm isn’t shaped like a capital C you have to substitute for her another chef.
3. Topics of discussion
A lot of us are getting older which means no more sitting at the little table. Shit, some of us are actually hosting the event which means you can control the board when it comes to topics of discussion. In most homes it will be about the government shutdown, 45 is a whole whore fa real but this is your time to flourish so these should be some topics worth discussing:
- How do you make your kool-aid?
- Who is better? Prince or Michael Jackson
- Which show was funnier? Martin or Fresh Prince
- Who was badder? Laura Winslow, Myra, Denise Huxtable, Topanga or Kelly Bundy
- If I throw a draw 4 can someone throw a draw 2 on top of that
- Drums or flats
- What does sugar really go on?
Christmas Day is on a Tuesday this year which means if you have to work any day this week your lunch should be covered. Please try to get all your food before Christmas Eve because the store will be as naked as all the strip clubs put together unless you’re a vegan then your section is fully stocked. If you thought parking was an issue before, wait until tonight. The meal is the climax of the day. We treat Christmas dinner like the first meal after the Daniel fast. I am eating all the protein, carbs and bread. GAINS bitch. Let your side dishes be the actually main course of the meal. You better flourish macaroni and cheese, stuffing, sweet potatoes, greens, biscuits and whatever else you want to have. I’m only going to say this once: do not shortchange on the dessert. Dessert is the final piece of the puzzle. Dessert to me is the equivalent of getting that drunk text from a woman after brunch; there will be a happy ending.
No matter your circumstance, there are always blessings to count. Your trials and tribulations are temporary, but the testimony is permanent. Have the intent to be with family and embrace each other with kindness. I know sometime family can be more difficult than beating Mike Tyson on Mike Tyson punch out but they are the only family you got. If there are differences whether small or major, please work toward a resolution. I know this is easier said then done because family can be your worst enemy. Speak with purpose and enlightenment to your family members. Always remember the same tongue that can speak life can also speak death so choose your words wisely. Quite frankly, having these tough conversations breeds character. I am learning as I get older that I don’t want to be the bulletin board in our friendship. In other words don’t only talk to me when things are good, speak when they are bad and/or indifferent. Who knows your story may motivate someone or vice versa? I want you to hold me accountable for my actions. I want to be able provide constructive criticism with a side order of uplift without being called a hater or dismissed from your life because you don’t agree. Newsflash, a disagreement should never be the cause of a relationship ending. We tend to think that people owe us something when in fact no one owes us shit. You only get breath and death and breath ain’t even guaranteed no more so appreciate what you have and the family that comes with it. Remember that one day you will not be at the Christmas dinner neither will your family members. If you don’t believe me put an alarm clock in the cemetery and see who wakes up. There’s always a chance for a new day if given the opportunity to wake up so take full advantage and everyone enjoy themselves this Christmas.