I was 24 years old when my lady Quianna told me she was pregnant. I remember the conversation like it was yesterday:
Quianna: do you notice any swelling of my feet, plus my stomach is killing me
Me: did you go to the doctor? You might have diabetes fa real. Your stomach hurting because you just left golden corral and that honey bread fried ya ass
Quianna: no that aint why it’s hurting sonny. It’s because I’m pregnant.
Shit. Time stood still. I was nervous, shocked, amazed, happy, anxious etc.…As you can I was a tall glass of emotion-anchorman voice. I had no clue what the hell I was doing. I was working at Giant baking cookies and the joke around town was that I trapped her since she was a stockbroker. Part of me wanting to do the Mike Jack turnaround from the end of thriller and smile but I knew I had to step my game up expeditiously-joe Clarke voice. After the initial shock and numerous conversations between Quianna and I, we decided that we were keeping the baby and that I need to get right with the Lord now. I don’t want this new child to not have the Lord as her foundation.
A few months go by and we go to the doctor’s appointment where it is determined that we are having a girl. At first I was like, dammit this must be karma but I didn’t do women that dirty for real to deserve this but after talking to my father he said:
Me: dad, I’m having a girl. Fuck man. They said having a girl is God’s way of paying you back from bad stuff you did back in the day but I wasn’t that bad
Dad: first of all that’s the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard. Well son you keep playing the piano long enough you gonna make a hit. Just make your hit is a classic. Look at it this way. You realize that black woman are the purest natural resource on Earth so bringing in another woman into the world takes tons of discipline, nurturing and family presence to create the next great natural resource
Me: first of all that’s the dumb….
Dad: better watch ya mouth lil nigga
Me: Just playing. I appreciate the words and I know that I have to get my head in the game and not focus on material possession and focus on spiritual guidance.
Before you knew it, we are at the hospital and St. Joe’s has turned into a probate as the 10 Legends and all her line sisters come to the hospital to meet the AI-AG baby better known as Morgan Grayson. It was interesting to say the least the few months but as time went on and we began to establish a relationship, I realize how much I was learning from her instead of the other way around. I had another conversation with my dad when Morgan was about 3 years old because she was starting to get a personality and I was like help.
Me: Morgan is getting older and I don’t know what to do
Dad: well son… that’s life. Even though she is 3 this is the time where you begin to establish your relationship with her. Teach her that a man can love you without sex being involved. I know this is ironic because the love you have for quianna involved sex which got Morgan here but son you don’t wanna be raising no whore who looks for love through sex. We call those people hookers, smuts, sluts, skags, skee-yo, and other type of shit and my grandbaby aint gonna be one of those you hear me boy.
Me: yea I got you
Dad: nice talking to you son. Make sure you are active in her life and attend all the events you can because your attendance at simple things should as assemblies, award ceremonies, recital and daddy daughter dance will create such lasting moments she has no choice but to cherish it and remember how much you love her.
For the past 3 years, Morgan has been adamant that I accompany her to the daddy-daughter dance as if she runs my life, well part of that statement. The other part goes to my other 3 kids and my wife. I realize that my relationship with Morgan will change especially as she gets older but I am glad, I was able to establish this relationship early. Case in point at the most recent daddy-daughter dance:
Boy: what’s up Morgan?
Boy: you look nice
Yo goes for the hug
Morgan: Hi-5 only. My daddy is crazy
Me: Job well done and I’m spent
Fathers, please be in your kids life. It’s imperative to reassure them that they are wanted, needed and that they can contribute greatly to society. Be the conduit your kids need to survive. They will thank you later. I’m glad that I can be a part of her life even if it’s just a picture at a daddy-daughter dance but these moments will last forever. Gotta get prepped for next year because she’s already asking for the permission slip