Diary of a Big Yo Weightlifting

weights

Well the New Year is upon us. New Year. New Me. Time to go ham on these realistic goals. This is not going to turn into a weekly diatribe. This is more about certain shenanigans that occurred the first time I went to the gym for the New Year. First things first it was good to get back in the swing of things lifting weights. It was around 10:30 in the morning and it was a day off so I knew it was going to be packed but son it was packed like Kings Dominion during Black College Weekend. Everybody was on the treadmill, elliptical and Stairmaster but it was weird because it was only men doing cardio and the women were lifting weights. It wasn’t a lot of alpha activity going on. I mean more alpha female then anything. Is this a new thing? Are women trying to take over for the 99-2000? Are men trying to be extra lean? These are genuine questions because I do a little of both but I like lifting weights more than cardio. It was crazy. You had people signing up for new membership and then others are doing their daily routine and of course you got the one person that gotta Snapchat, Facebook live and let the world your next move. On a serious note can someone tell me why people lifting weights with a fitted cap on. You get the hat all sweaty and the shape is being compromised and I hope you don’t wear that with your finest attire.

It was a different scene then what I’m used to because I normally go at night or around 430 in the morning so going around 10 am it was crazy. Not to mention it was a day off for everyone so it was thick like WIC peanut butter. I remember signing in and looking at the treadmill and I was viewing the treadmill like a urinal in the men’s bathroom. Maybe it’s me but if there’s a one treadmill gap between people I won’t use it. It could be a big boy complex and I think that there isn’t enough room and then I’m sweating all crazy and I ain’t getting any sweat on anyone else. Nevertheless, I was able to find a treadmill and I knocked out my time while watching ESPN and now it’s on to the weights and that’s where the big bucks start rolling in.

I decided to work on chest so I put 225 on the bench and I start to hype myself up a little bit plus Jeezy was blasting through the speakers so I’m ready. I look to the left of me and it’s another dude with the same weight on the bench and he’s looking at me like the Kevin Hart skit when he was in the gym and he was about to lift weights. So he did about 9 on 225 and he was like, ‘that’s how you lift weights. I ain’t seen you before. You look new’. In my mind I’m like yeah you wouldn’t see me during the day because I got a job my man. I just laughed it off and kept going toward my bench when he said that I couldn’t do what he just did.

Bench guy: you playing. You ain’t about this life here playboy. Real man weight over here

Me: playboy. What you just watch A-Team before you came to the gym?

Bench: I mean what’s up then

Right then and there I was like fuck it. Game time. Maybe it was the weightlifting gods initiating me to the new line of weightlifters. I knew it was all ego because he was smaller than me so his 8 or 9 is equivalent to at least double digits because my size. At this moment my mind turned into a Kermit meme:

Sonny: Should I just do 10 and workout with him since we lifting the same weight?

Sonny Savage: man you from over west yo fuck this nigga. Big and black is back. Stop playing with this clown. It’s time to get down or lay down and if you lay down you stay down cuz we don’t play around. Annihilate this dude leave his bench then go to your bench put 315 on and say get ya weight up lil nigga.

It’s safe to say Savage Sonny emerged from the depths of hell and did 225 20 times then walked to my bench put on 315. I only did like 7 so I’m not Incredible Hulk but then I ended it with a mean stare and a ‘get ya weight up lil nigga’

Bench: I see you playboy. Aight aight. But you the big homie though like that should be light work anyway. Then he tries to shake my hand and I’m like aight yo happy New Year. One day you can be lift big weights.

So until I left the benching area I could see that he was looking at what I was doing. Then I switch to the reverse grip bench press and it fucked the whole game up. He starts asking me mad questions then he wanted to try something light so I put on 185. At about the 3rd rep his breathing starts to change and he was done. I do a casual 12 and I go about my business. I knew I became petty when I asked him, ‘you want a bottle of water yo’. He ain’t say shit but I mean why challenge me. Why did you think if you beat me you get a shot at the world championship belt? This ain’t wrestling my G so lift your weights and go home.  I can say that with consistency and a change of diet, I could be cut up like the Thing from the Fantastic 4 or at least Mr. Incredible because right now I’m looking like Kung Fu Panda. I know it’s a process so it won’t change overnight and for those in the same boat or just trying to get healthier keep going and when you think you about to quit always remember why you started in the first place.

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