How I Met your Mother

how i met your mother

So at work today we are talking about our favorite show and Martin comes up especially the how they met episode. This got me to thinking about the story on how me and my wife met. This is me telling Morgan, Reid and Hannah my rendition on how we met:

I’ve been put on this earth for a decade and some years so what that make me…I’m a grown ass man. At the age of 17, I decide to further my education to become an engineer at Morgan State University. Best 4+ years of my life. Made a lot of friends, gained a lot of respect and brothers, and even got a wife there. First couple of years was like a scrimmage. I’m learning the playbook, getting acquainted with all the right people and just ready to put my foot in the door. It wasn’t until 2003 where my life as I knew it changed. I became a member of the AI version of the 92 Dream Team but you know us as the Legends. From Rob Green to Corn to Cook to Cheers to J5 to Sonny to Tony to Juce to Rell and Larry we cement a legacy still going under the leadership of Ser Wylie, FT, Geno, Whitman and many other Brothers. Mind you I’m the big boy on this gig so expectations for me were a lot higher. Just because I was big didn’t mean I could dress sloppy or not bag women or not exemplify the ethics and values of what a Legend was supposed to be. See for those that partied with me back in the day knew my ankles and feet were lightweight it’s the rest of the body especially around the mid-section that was close to 300.  Quite frankly, big fella got moves.

You know the probate happens and I get introduced to frats and sororities across the nation. But you got to have love for people that rep the same school as you so of course the bond between us was strong as shit. From this, I met a Delta named Quianna who is now my wife and mother of my kids. But Morgan, Reid and Hannah you call her mommy. Just like the Martin episode when Martin and Gina explain how they met this is where the story gets interesting.

According to Quianna, we were both walking to Morgan View not together just on the same path. It starts to pour down raining and I got my headphones with no care in the world. She has on a Delta windbreaker and maybe even a Delta umbrella as well so I knew she was a Delta but since she didn’t live in my building she would need access to get in. I walk into 1540 and the door slams. Apparently, she starts banging on the door and I look at her and kept going. Now, Quianna you mean to tell me I looked at you and kept going. What time of ignorant shit is that? You mean to tell me I had you looking like Darryl from Coming to America when Lisa dumped him. You mean to tell me that I let your Puerto Rican hair get wet and now you looking like a broccoli stem. That ain’t even in my pedigree; my mom’s raised me better than that. I can honestly say I never heard a knock at the door. Of course, this starts a vicious venom that I didn’t even know existed. I couldn’t tell because she spoke every time, gave me a hug every time like I felt no shade whatsoever. But she ain’t bang with the kid and that’s cool because I was in a different world. I felt like Dwayne Wayne without the shades and Jordan’s but still cool nonetheless.

Time goes by and it’s the 2005 Spring Probate. Everybody is excited. New Nupes on the yard. My man Gumbs got half of the school in the pit. To this day, I wondered how all these niggas know you were on but I sips yak…thanks Kermit. So of course everybody is suits and ties looking sharp then here I come with the fresh suit and top hat and the only song I could think of was watch out for the big boy…..watch out for the big boy. With the campus packed all eyes is on us and them so I get a couple of looks and what do I see… a woman with her linesisters checking the big fella out. I remain cool but just know I peeped ya shorty. It wasn’t until later that I found out she even took a picture of me. I mean we was always cool so I didn’t look at it any other way then the big fella was looking better than normal and she took notice. Normally, she saw me in a white tee with a flight jacket and scully or fitted never dressed up to the nines in fine clothing because the next day I was back to the same shit. Do I think my name every came up when she and her group of girls got together? Absolutely not so my humble hat is  on nice and tight. I mean she was far from ugly. She was really cute and not ‘cute for a big girl’ either. For the record that’s not a compliment people so for those ladies that I leaned on because you said I’m cute for a big guy that’s why. It’s a backhanded compliment so as my man Harb would say ‘cut the crap’. Back to the story, I mean I would see her in the canteen which was always jumping and we would flirt and all that then one day I put on my best combination and asked her out. Guess what she said….oh you serious, I mean I thought we was joking I mean you just Sonny to me though. To this day, I don’t know what that meant but I was ready to give her the worst leaning known to man but then I probably wouldn’t be married with 3 kids either so the lesson I learned that day was pick your battles and when you need to be serious be serious. This was hard for me to grasp because I used laughter as a defensive mechanism when things didn’t go well with the ladies because I was big and black and under no circumstance could I turn into the angry man from Martin.

A few weeks later, it’s Valentine’s Day and the NUPES were passing out chocolate covered strawberries to some of the women on campus. I wonder if some women were hiding from me on purpose because I always felt there were some that was like come save me from the big nigga. I realize quick that I wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea that didn’t mean I stop trying, I just focused on those that were. So we in the canteen and I see her and not only did I give her a strawberry, I fed her that shit too. Mad comments like ‘you go boy’, ‘that’s what I’m talking about Sonny’, ‘that’s a smooth move right there big homie’ was heard amongst the crowd. She felt good and I’m glad I was the one that was able to do it. We were having a forum that night and she approaches with the how you doing monologue and she asks me, ‘Sonny do you have a valentine’ and I was like ‘Nope what about you, she was like no’ Stop right there, I know what you thinking this is where Sonny goes for the kill but remember a few weeks prior I was just Sonny to her so instead I say ‘hi-5 better luck next year and I walk off’ I didn’t turn around to see her face. This was a pivotal move because this could have easily been the end of that friendship but it wasn’t. I wonder if she was like no this fat mothafucka didn’t…I got something for his ass. It was all love though and the same flirting continued for a few years.

It wasn’t until 2007 Homecoming in the Delta suite where I decided to approach her again. Granted, I didn’t have on the best attire. I had on a blue hoody tied up with a matching skully and Chuck Taylor’s but I was serious with my approach. She could tell I was serious and then she gave me her number. But the last 4 digits were only 2 numbers though: 0099. So in my mind I’m like man she just played the shit outta me but I’m chill because worst thing that could happen is that I holla at another girl. I think she saw the potential and we laughed about the whole number situation. I waited about 3 days and called no response. No big deal I was chillin I get a call back a day or two later and the conversation just flows naturally. It wasn’t nothing for a 4 hour conversation to occur and we had fun. We went on our first date at Friday’s and I never forgot she looked good and I had on this police jacket. Leave it up to my dad to say you wanna kill her son wear this. Everything was good it was a new avenue explored between two friends and of course this was never supposed to happen. If this was a Vegas bet I’d say 50-1 odds we would be together…that’s precisely why I don’t bet. The date is wrapping up we outside at the car and the awkward do I go for the first kiss comes about. I’m like fuck it go hard or go home but instead of locking lips I got a shiny forehead. I don’t know if it was sweat or she had the Bruce Leroy glow nevertheless she got the forehead kiss like Taye Diggs gave Nia Long in the Best Man. It wasn’t the result I was looking for but hey I went for the kill so I can live with it. We were discussing a second date and she was like I could pay for the next date and jokingly I was like ‘hell yeah do that shit’ it was all a joke but it almost cost me a second date. I’m glad she has a sense of humor. Kids fast forward to 2014 where my oldest is 5 and my youngest is a month, I got a house a couple cars and a bunch of stories that I’m about to tell. Until next time…Stay classy Planet Earth

*I wonder what her version is going to be…..

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