Picture This

Around this time every year we receive Christmas Cards from either the Taliaferro’s or Shug which always prompts my wife to want to take family pictures. Nothing is ever normal with this family when it comes to certain tasks. We have been plotting to do this for years but there was always something that got in the way. Most of the time it was the fact that either the girls hair was done but the guys weren’t or we didn’t have the money. I can remember the first time we did a photoshoot with Morgan for Christmas and spending damn near 200 dollars. I know Julius was Everyone Hates Chris was like, ‘look at this nigga here. Let me know go help this young man.’ Alexa play Meshell Ndegeocello, Make a Fool of me tell me why. But that was my ignorance because Morgan was my first child and she should get whatever she wants but now that I got 4, man they better put this Children’s Place outfit with this 60 percent off coupon I just used and smile for the camera.

I can remember Quianna calling me one day to talk about this:

Qui: hey husbae

Sonny: husbae huh. What you got up your sleeve

Qui: well 2 things Sonny. I want to take family pictures and I made a cart at Children’s place.

Sonny: whats the second thing?

Qui: I bought a Groupon and I need to know when you and Reid are getting haircuts. The weekend is booked up so I need something soon.

Sonny: well you know our barber best days is the weekend but let me see what I can do

Qui: ok

I call the barber and his only appointment was 830 pm on Wednesday. So in my mind I’m like ‘shit, big fella for the win’. We schedule the pictures for Thursday night at Columbia Mall. Simple right. Nigga this is the Graysons’ we talking about. Thursday afternoon comes and I get a call from the wife.

Qui: you coming home for lunch

Sonny: yea why

Qui: because Hannah need her hair done. Jo Jo won’t let me put him down and he stinks. Reid gonna be mad he can’t go to karate,I need to pump and I’m hungry and I’m overwhelmed. I’m tired of this shit

Sonny: so I guess sex is out the question

Qui: motherfuck…

Sonny: DAAAAAAAAAAAMMNNN. Thats’ crazy

I get home and start to hold Jo Jo and get ready then I hear a bang at the door. It was Reid, Hannah and Grandma Cindy. Shout out to her for coming through in the clutch for picking him up.  So I’m ironing clothes and getting ready checking the clock. I felt like henry hill in the end scene of goodfellas before he got caught.  We get dressed and ready to go then it hit me.  Fuck, we forgot Morgan. Like how did I forget a whole kid. So we rush to the school arrive about 10 minutes late then Quianna lean on the aftercare lady but we doing good on time so we gonna focus on that part. All the kids at one time say I’m hungry so we stop at McDonalds and we out.

Wouldn’t you know we make it to the appointment 15 minutes to spare and we walk In JcPenney like 2Pac walking out of court. It was a lot of families in there but of course we were the minority. Hannah speaking to everybody, Morgan is acting like a second mother and Jo Jo just pooting away. We get in the room and start taking pictures and Jo Jo was hitting main man with the no smile just like his daddy and I couldn’t have been more proud. Then the photographer grabs a bunny to make Jo Jo smile.

Photographer: ok everyone say Monkeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyy.

All the kids said that shit but me I was like fuck that and it was a stone face the whole shoot. Maybe While we were waiting to review the pictures, Hannah yells out, ‘Daddy look it’s a horse in the store’. I’m thinking it’s a picture but it was really was a big ass dog and we got to bet it and Hannah wants to ride it like a horse. This kid imagination is too funny but I’m just glad we got through the pictures. Grayson Family 2018 pictures was a success and now my wife will post these pictures and break the internet before the stock market open.

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