Saturday Night Live

joan and I part 2


Saturday morning comes bright and early as the alarm goes off at promptly 6:30 and I let the Grayson buffet begin. They had the usual continental breakfast lineup but because the manager invited to me to partake in their feast I felt obligated to go ham. I bring plate after plate back to room and as I open the door she is awaken to the fresh smell of Belgian waffles and I look like the man. Now you remember how I brought up finances earlier, well we didn’t have a lot but we had enough for some water ice. We sit down and become immersed with the scenery; whether it’s the cloud to blue sky ratio or the wind ever so gently blowing the leaves on the trees. It had a euphoric setting for a full marriage ministry conversation because we can discuss our strengths, weaknesses and goals (short and long term). I felt a connection with my wife at that moment and throughout the conversation despite some of the trials and tribulations we are experiencing right now, a woman jumps out of a car with a shirt saying “God is Enough”. Mind blown. Now if that aint a holy slap to the face then I don’t know what it is. It put everything into perspective and the only thing I said after seeing this was, “I see ya big fella. Well played Lord well played” Normally, I would expect this loud boom when God wants to talk to me but in all actuality it’s the small things like this that make you say whoa.

We prepare for this fancy Groupon dinner at this steakhouse. My wife got on a colorful dress with jewelry, makeup and sandals looking like Lane Bryant page 7 under New Arrivals section. We arrive at the restaurant and it gave me a Bronx Tale vibe. I felt like I should have had on all black with a leather jacket like the Fonz and a Fedora and my wife should have had on a skirt that poof out like one of those dresses you would see in Grease with the Easter church socks and black and white uniform shoes. You had the Bronx Tale soundtrack playing in the background creating the nostalgic setting. Walking in the restaurant all you hear is “sha bop da bop….sha bop da bop…sha bop da bop wee uuu wee uuu  sha bop da bop….I only have eyes for youuuuuuuuu yeah”(to keep it all the way a thousand, this quartet isn’t better than the New Jack City trio singing Living for the City but back to the story). The bartender greets with us the salute and yelled out we got a deuce deuce here. There was a section closed off with a curtain so we thinking no one is allowed back there but that area is lit. I wonder if it was a coming home party for one of the gangsters. It’s a few young couples in there and there’s two older women in the restaurant (remember the two older women as the story goes on).  I see everybody ordering surf and turf buying drinks and I’m like oh these young cats out here getting busy. I knew the food would be great when the owner who looked like Pauly from Goodfellas came out the kitchen yelling, “Make sure you caramelize the onions. We run a business over here and more bread pronto”. He is talking to all the guests then he notices something has gone awry. He approaches the young couple and says:

Owner: you enjoying the food

Customer: yeah

Owner: good. I’m glad to hear that. Wait a minute young fella. Why you got that lady purse on the floor. Whatsthematterwityou (yeah I know all one word) then smacks the man’s cheek twice and the man has this befuddled look on his face (think Charlie Murphy after Rick James gave him the 5 fingers to the face) You know that’s bad luck. You don’t want bad luck with a lady looking like that.  Enjoy your meal.

He then kissed her hand and walked away like a boss. As he walked away he saw me and gave me the head nod and the salute.

Wife: you really think you Sonny or something

Me: I see you hatin wit cha hatin ass.

The waiter comes to check on us and I say:

Me: Let me holla at you real quick yo. Look man we on this Groupon ya dig don’t blow the shit up just putting you on alert

Waiter: don’t worry boss. I got you

Me: my man- Denzel Washington voice

For a second I felt embarrassed because everybody else is eating like it’s the last supper and arguably the biggest person in the restaurant is eating conservative. Go figure. So as the other couples are leaving, every guy with your lady yelling all loud…’so uh yeah we on a Groupon’. Like there was a table of 6 people trying to use 3 Groupons at one time and I had to shed a thug tear because look at all these young Jason Pitts in the making. It was like there was concession stands workers at a baseball game, “groupon here, I got a groupon here, 25 dollars for 50 dollars’ worth of food here”. The bill came up to only 9.00 and I had this vision that Julius, Jason Pitts, Mr. Krabs and I’m gonna git chu sucka asking how much for one rib Chris Rock are smiling down at me while Detrick Haddon‘s choir singing “well done you can come on in” as I just entered the Frugal Hall of Fame.  Things couldn’t get any better right…

As we leaving the restaurant, it’s a big commotion outside where all these people are running so of course my wife and I look at each other like yo this shit look like back home but it was something worse. Remember those two old ladies I mentioned earlier, well they are lying face down in concrete bleeding profusely as they were just hit by a car. Talk about being shook daddy for real. To see these ladies who just said hi and bye to us a minutes ago laying in a pool of blood not moving…good grief-Charlie Brown voice. Nothing else mattered at that moment but the health of these two strangers. By the time the ambulance came they were both conscious and help was being administered. This made the phrase, “here today gone tomorrow” very vivid and it makes you appreciate every day you have on Earth. Yeah you will go through trials and tribulations but within a blink of an eye it can turn into a victory or it can turn into your departure from Earth. I am thankful to share the experiences that I have with my wife, kids, family members, brothers and friends but I can sum up this whole weekend and what’s going on in my life in 3 words: God is enough.

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